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on Tuesday, August 16, 2011
“How can a good, all-powerful and loving God allow evil to exist in our world?”
We have all heard the question asked a thousand times. I recently wrestled with this topic walking through Auschwitz, a concentration/death camp, where hundreds of thousands of Jewish families were stripped naked, brutually murdered, and dumped into unmarked graves. Their belongings, including hair were then sold to fuel the Natzi war machine. Children and expecting mothers received no special treatment and while under the impression they were headed to take showers, they instead experienced agonizing suffocation in gas chambers. God is good? Can we believe that a good God is compatible with the horrors of not only Auschwitz, but the rest of history? Should we accept that God?
Part 1: The Beginning “Why would God allow even the possibility of evil to begin with?”
God created Adam and Eve perfect, blessed them with an abundant world and then did something incredibly stupid. God gave mankind a choice. “The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garen you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” (Gen 2:16-17) The first idea we must wrestle with in understanding the existence of evil is our choice.
Why the choice?
'Chatty Cathy' was a doll created in the 1960's. It revolutionized the toy industry in many ways and experienced great financial success. The unique thing about 'Chatty Cathy' was a string located on her upper back that when pulled repeated several different phrases such as 'I love you.' Let's say you own a 'Chatty Cathy' doll. You pull Chatty Cathy's string, and without fail the doll cries out, 'I love you!' Why doesn't that mean anything to you? You want love, and this doll gives it out unconditionally right?
With humanity God wanted a relationship, God wanted sons, God wanted daughters. At the very core of this relationship is choice. God never called an angel His son. 'Chatty Cathy' does not choose to love anyone, it is simply programmed to do so. God did not want a whole bunch of Chatty Cathy dolls who said 'i love you' simply because we had to. To be human is to be able to choose. Adam chose wrongly, he chose rebellion against God. Adam chose to eat of the tree of knowledge of Good and Evil, violate God's commandment, and thus evil entered into our world. With the possibility of us intimately knowing God unlike any other creature, there was also the possibility for us to reject God.
With choices there are also consequences, and right now the world of evil which we experience is a consequence inherited from Adam's choice. The choice allowed sin to enter our world and in every way it corrupted the very nature of man as well as the world we live in.
While this may help us wrestle with the existence of evil, the continuance of evil is still a question. Ok so mankind screwed up, but why doesn't God just take care of it? A question I will attempt to address in my next blog post.
We have all heard the question asked a thousand times. I recently wrestled with this topic walking through Auschwitz, a concentration/death camp, where hundreds of thousands of Jewish families were stripped naked, brutually murdered, and dumped into unmarked graves. Their belongings, including hair were then sold to fuel the Natzi war machine. Children and expecting mothers received no special treatment and while under the impression they were headed to take showers, they instead experienced agonizing suffocation in gas chambers. God is good? Can we believe that a good God is compatible with the horrors of not only Auschwitz, but the rest of history? Should we accept that God?
Part 1: The Beginning “Why would God allow even the possibility of evil to begin with?”
God created Adam and Eve perfect, blessed them with an abundant world and then did something incredibly stupid. God gave mankind a choice. “The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garen you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” (Gen 2:16-17) The first idea we must wrestle with in understanding the existence of evil is our choice.
Why the choice?
'Chatty Cathy' was a doll created in the 1960's. It revolutionized the toy industry in many ways and experienced great financial success. The unique thing about 'Chatty Cathy' was a string located on her upper back that when pulled repeated several different phrases such as 'I love you.' Let's say you own a 'Chatty Cathy' doll. You pull Chatty Cathy's string, and without fail the doll cries out, 'I love you!' Why doesn't that mean anything to you? You want love, and this doll gives it out unconditionally right?
With humanity God wanted a relationship, God wanted sons, God wanted daughters. At the very core of this relationship is choice. God never called an angel His son. 'Chatty Cathy' does not choose to love anyone, it is simply programmed to do so. God did not want a whole bunch of Chatty Cathy dolls who said 'i love you' simply because we had to. To be human is to be able to choose. Adam chose wrongly, he chose rebellion against God. Adam chose to eat of the tree of knowledge of Good and Evil, violate God's commandment, and thus evil entered into our world. With the possibility of us intimately knowing God unlike any other creature, there was also the possibility for us to reject God.
With choices there are also consequences, and right now the world of evil which we experience is a consequence inherited from Adam's choice. The choice allowed sin to enter our world and in every way it corrupted the very nature of man as well as the world we live in.
While this may help us wrestle with the existence of evil, the continuance of evil is still a question. Ok so mankind screwed up, but why doesn't God just take care of it? A question I will attempt to address in my next blog post.
on Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Pride passionately wants you to look righteous, but humility passionately wants you to be righteous.
Pride inevitably stunts, defeats growth, for when we are prideful, we care about us, only us, and usually others perceptions of us. Man, pride would rather have you being 'right' than growing. Pride skews proper vision, not humility. Pride collides with reality, but humility alligns, embraces it. In my mind pride is always exaggerating the good and the accomplishments attributing their existence to some sort of deep inner genius that overflowed out my very being. However, when I run into the bad things, into my failures, then pride is ever present to rationalize or mostly just deny any evident flaws, attributing their existence (or lack there of) to everyone else.
I create a facade, the great facade, the way I want to be seen. As soon as someone pokes a hole in my great facade and I realize that the image I wish to portray has been breached, then I get defensive. Honestly I spend more time nurturing my facade than I do actually nurturing my inner broken man. If I cared as much about my heart changing as I did about appearing a changed man then God could have infinite room to grow me.
I pray the next time a friend of mine comes to me and I hear that painful twinge of truth, the next time instead of resisting the truth because it makes me look bad, I will embrace truth knowing that it's revelation will make me more like Jesus.
We will find humility as we continue to embrance and recognize God's view of us, as well as God's mercy towards us.
Humility isn't demeaning, it's freeing. Throughout my life it was never humility which caused me frustration, inner turmoil, impatience and divisions. No, it was my pride that produced all that!
Pride always thinks about you, but humility always thinks about Jesus.
Pride inevitably stunts, defeats growth, for when we are prideful, we care about us, only us, and usually others perceptions of us. Man, pride would rather have you being 'right' than growing. Pride skews proper vision, not humility. Pride collides with reality, but humility alligns, embraces it. In my mind pride is always exaggerating the good and the accomplishments attributing their existence to some sort of deep inner genius that overflowed out my very being. However, when I run into the bad things, into my failures, then pride is ever present to rationalize or mostly just deny any evident flaws, attributing their existence (or lack there of) to everyone else.
I create a facade, the great facade, the way I want to be seen. As soon as someone pokes a hole in my great facade and I realize that the image I wish to portray has been breached, then I get defensive. Honestly I spend more time nurturing my facade than I do actually nurturing my inner broken man. If I cared as much about my heart changing as I did about appearing a changed man then God could have infinite room to grow me.
I pray the next time a friend of mine comes to me and I hear that painful twinge of truth, the next time instead of resisting the truth because it makes me look bad, I will embrace truth knowing that it's revelation will make me more like Jesus.
We will find humility as we continue to embrance and recognize God's view of us, as well as God's mercy towards us.
Humility isn't demeaning, it's freeing. Throughout my life it was never humility which caused me frustration, inner turmoil, impatience and divisions. No, it was my pride that produced all that!
Pride always thinks about you, but humility always thinks about Jesus.
on Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Everyone asks me 'how was Poland.' It is difficult for me to have that conversation (especially since most want a 30-60 second answer). It is difficult because of how much God accomplished within me and through me in Poland. It is difficult because honestly sometimes I don't even know what happened. What I do know is that I came head to head with more of my own inadequacy than perhaps ever before, yet within my inadequacy found God's grace ever prevalent, ever matching my failures and consistent through crisis.
The first month was spent training in Czech, being trained as interns with JosiahVenture ministries and running around Prague until my legs felt like Jello. After this we spend nearly three weeks traveling Poland spreading the word about the English Camps we were soon to teach and encouraging students to attend. We spoke in schools and churches and rode on more trains that I care to remember, but within this experience I found fellowship with my team and encouragement as they grew unto the Lord. The last month was spent preparing and then engaging with the Polish Youth at the English Camps. We participated in two of these Camps and met some of the most fascinating and incredible kids. During the camps we would have roughly 2 hours of English lessons, then we would play games, eat, and do an evening program. The evening program consists of worship, a sermon and then discussion groups revolving around the sermon.
In Poland- We saw God's Spirit show up and work through our team bringing youth to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, and I believe that through us and despite of us God found glory as well as new family members as we preached the gospel.
In Me- I found an even deeper understanding of God's gospel, and a boldness with my faith I have perhaps never experienced before. I found a deeply rooted pride that when revealed disgusted even myself. I found a God that does not simply hold an exclusive allegiance to America and is at work in Poland raising up godly men and women. I always knew God is everywhere, but it is something else to see Him in action on the other side of the world.
Perhaps this post is a little bit choppy and random, but that is probably because the whole experience is choppy in my brain. What I do know is that God has forever changed me through this mission trip and that I will always have a heart for Poland and it's people.
The first month was spent training in Czech, being trained as interns with JosiahVenture ministries and running around Prague until my legs felt like Jello. After this we spend nearly three weeks traveling Poland spreading the word about the English Camps we were soon to teach and encouraging students to attend. We spoke in schools and churches and rode on more trains that I care to remember, but within this experience I found fellowship with my team and encouragement as they grew unto the Lord. The last month was spent preparing and then engaging with the Polish Youth at the English Camps. We participated in two of these Camps and met some of the most fascinating and incredible kids. During the camps we would have roughly 2 hours of English lessons, then we would play games, eat, and do an evening program. The evening program consists of worship, a sermon and then discussion groups revolving around the sermon.
In Poland- We saw God's Spirit show up and work through our team bringing youth to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, and I believe that through us and despite of us God found glory as well as new family members as we preached the gospel.
In Me- I found an even deeper understanding of God's gospel, and a boldness with my faith I have perhaps never experienced before. I found a deeply rooted pride that when revealed disgusted even myself. I found a God that does not simply hold an exclusive allegiance to America and is at work in Poland raising up godly men and women. I always knew God is everywhere, but it is something else to see Him in action on the other side of the world.
Perhaps this post is a little bit choppy and random, but that is probably because the whole experience is choppy in my brain. What I do know is that God has forever changed me through this mission trip and that I will always have a heart for Poland and it's people.
on Friday, April 8, 2011
So many times the reason I love someone is not because of what I know about them, but because of what I do not know. Honestly most people we love in this life, well we really love the facade, or the image they wish to portray. Loving the guy you sit next to on the bus is cheap, you hardly know him, but loving the co-worker who screamed at you last week, now that a challenge. Loving an acquaintance is easy, but love becomes beautiful with the flaws. And that is the beauty of Christ's love, is that he sees our flaws.. all of them. Love becomes powerful with intimacy. The reason the phrase 'Jesus loves me' is so life changing is because Jesus knows me, the real me, the deepest, darkest corners of my heart.
So I can sit here and talk about Christ's love, but ultimately know I don't really understand. And that's ok. So I will leave behind the worthless and even the good in pursuit of the incomprehensible.
Eph 3:18-19 "may we have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
So I can sit here and talk about Christ's love, but ultimately know I don't really understand. And that's ok. So I will leave behind the worthless and even the good in pursuit of the incomprehensible.
Php 3:8, "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ..."
on Wednesday, March 16, 2011
I am going to Poland! It is odd to think that I have never been on a mission’s trip before, especially since I am entering into full time missions. I believe this will be an awesome opportunity not only for cross-cultural ministry experience, but to advance God’s gospel as well.
I will be partnering with Sun Valley Community Church and a program they run known as Institute For Missions (IFM). The team, composed of four members including myself, will be working with JosiahVenture in Poland. While the details of the trip are purposefully vague (so as to simulate the actual encounter of most missionaries) I do know I will be heavily involved with an English camp. What I most love about the trip itself is that the basis is to support a full time missionary, and secondly the camp which I will be working with is extremely evangelical. I believe the opportunity uniquely presents itself to spread the gospel to those who would not usually attend a church service.
The trip will run from late May 23rd to the end of July. Yet the emphasis of the trip is actually not on the trip itself, but on the growth of the individuals, or preparation, beforehand. For the next two months I will be researching Polish culture, engaging with God’s gospel, and preparing myself for cross-cultural servanthood.
While I will need partnering with the 4,500 trip fee, above all I need prayer that God would guide me in wisdom as I prepare for cross cultural ministry. And whether or not you partner with me, may we all partner in spreading God’s gospel to all people.
If you have questions about partnering or would like to receive my newsletter email me at 'matt.zowada@gmail.com'
For more information on Josiah Venture:
http://www.josiahventure.com/
For more information on IFM (Institute For Missions):
http://sunvalleycc.com/outreach/global/ifm.html
I will be partnering with Sun Valley Community Church and a program they run known as Institute For Missions (IFM). The team, composed of four members including myself, will be working with JosiahVenture in Poland. While the details of the trip are purposefully vague (so as to simulate the actual encounter of most missionaries) I do know I will be heavily involved with an English camp. What I most love about the trip itself is that the basis is to support a full time missionary, and secondly the camp which I will be working with is extremely evangelical. I believe the opportunity uniquely presents itself to spread the gospel to those who would not usually attend a church service.
The trip will run from late May 23rd to the end of July. Yet the emphasis of the trip is actually not on the trip itself, but on the growth of the individuals, or preparation, beforehand. For the next two months I will be researching Polish culture, engaging with God’s gospel, and preparing myself for cross-cultural servanthood.
While I will need partnering with the 4,500 trip fee, above all I need prayer that God would guide me in wisdom as I prepare for cross cultural ministry. And whether or not you partner with me, may we all partner in spreading God’s gospel to all people.
If you have questions about partnering or would like to receive my newsletter email me at 'matt.zowada@gmail.com'
For more information on Josiah Venture:
http://www.josiahventure.com/
For more information on IFM (Institute For Missions):
http://sunvalleycc.com/outreach/global/ifm.html
on Friday, March 11, 2011
Without a doubt, looking back on my walk with the Lord the moments preceding growth almost always center around my absolute failures. It is a travesty that in the past I hid my screw-ups instead of learning from them, ignoring one of God’s most effective means to mature. So many times upon the realization of my own inadequacy I want to sweep my breakdowns under the rug and present myself whole and complete to others. In pride I keep appearances in tact and futilely attempt to hold together the crumbling pieces around me. My arrogance responds with increased attempts and struggles instead of bringing me to the realization which God intends: dude, I NEED GOD! God allowing failure in our lives is often a slap in our faces, reminding us of our infinite neediness. And yet ultimately there is no glory in failure except that which finds God’s faithfulness, except that which is consistent to God’s infinite patience. As God faithfully and continuously endures with my own fumbling I find my tottering footsteps of faith. Failure continuously teaches me to abide in Christ, to seek life through God and live in dependence that He may work through me.
The only failure I will truly fear, and perhaps the most devastating failure of all, would be my own complacency or apathy. May I no longer cower at my inadequacy, instead may I make it known, accept it, because this is what teaches me that I need Jesus. Man, I need Jesus. Peter’s denial of Christ was God’s springboard to teach. It was not before but after failure that Jesus sought Peter’s love (Jn. 21: 15-19).
“If we are going to keep on growing, we must keep on risking failure throughout our lives… I am vividly reminded of Goethe’s saying that men will always be making mistakes as long as they are striving after something.” - Brennan Manning
The only failure I will truly fear, and perhaps the most devastating failure of all, would be my own complacency or apathy. May I no longer cower at my inadequacy, instead may I make it known, accept it, because this is what teaches me that I need Jesus. Man, I need Jesus. Peter’s denial of Christ was God’s springboard to teach. It was not before but after failure that Jesus sought Peter’s love (Jn. 21: 15-19).
on Saturday, February 12, 2011
Reading through Genesis I was newly astounded at God's patience towards Adam and Eve. Not that the story changed, but perhaps I caught a glimpse of my self in Adam and Eve's response to their sinfulness. Adam and Eve although lying and manipulate recieved God's amazingly patient response.
The moment Adam and Eve took part in sin, God knew it. Yet when did he approach them, instantly? If I had just watched my friend make a mistake that would inevitably doom the rest of humanity I would probably have stormed in with a righteous fury! Yet what we see from God is not fire or brimstone but a calm approach still knowing full well the consequences of Adam and Eve's actions. In love He sought restoration tolerating insulting excuses and blame shifting. While he did not leave their sin unpunished he did not forsake them either. With care he acted, seeking their best when sending them out of the garden as well as when He promised them a redeemer.
As my own failures become clearer to me, and especially as I begin to notice my own prideful attitude I am amazed, increasingly awed, by the patience of God. Quite honestly if I am stuck at a stop light too long I become irritated, but God in his patience faithfully bears with me though my own heart is often far from Him. Although I continuously screw up God is patience and caring, I mean that is who He is! What an awesome God I am called to worship! What an awesome God that still patiently cares for me!
The moment Adam and Eve took part in sin, God knew it. Yet when did he approach them, instantly? If I had just watched my friend make a mistake that would inevitably doom the rest of humanity I would probably have stormed in with a righteous fury! Yet what we see from God is not fire or brimstone but a calm approach still knowing full well the consequences of Adam and Eve's actions. In love He sought restoration tolerating insulting excuses and blame shifting. While he did not leave their sin unpunished he did not forsake them either. With care he acted, seeking their best when sending them out of the garden as well as when He promised them a redeemer.
As my own failures become clearer to me, and especially as I begin to notice my own prideful attitude I am amazed, increasingly awed, by the patience of God. Quite honestly if I am stuck at a stop light too long I become irritated, but God in his patience faithfully bears with me though my own heart is often far from Him. Although I continuously screw up God is patience and caring, I mean that is who He is! What an awesome God I am called to worship! What an awesome God that still patiently cares for me!
on Sunday, January 2, 2011
The Christian life is one of dependence. Dependence upon God for everything, for his life, his strength, for growth. I mean, the very illustration Christ uses for growth is the vine and the branches, where the branch (me) must be completely dependent upon the vine for life. Yet this concept of dependence is in so drastic opposition to my own thinking. In the moments where I seem so far away from God I realize I have been seeking independence, I have been fooled, attempting self sufficiency, almost unknowingly pushing God away. Indeed when my disconnectedness reveals itself, I see my pride right there along with it.
This concept of dependence is so tightly woven together with humility, and yet it is quite ironic to find myself attempting humility apart from dependence, failing to humble myself before the Creator. As one of my teachers at school noted,
May God teach me to have a spirit of humility, of dependence.
This concept of dependence is so tightly woven together with humility, and yet it is quite ironic to find myself attempting humility apart from dependence, failing to humble myself before the Creator. As one of my teachers at school noted,
"There will never be a point in time in your walk that God will stop seeking to humble you."Increasingly I see the destructiveness of my own pride. This Christian life is not about what I can do, instead it is about what God is doing in me, through me.
May God teach me to have a spirit of humility, of dependence.
on Saturday, December 18, 2010
Today I graduated from New Tribes Bible Institute. Without hesitation I can say these last two years at Bible School have been some of the best of my life. So much has changed in my thinking, in regard to God's word, i mean, I can hardly recognize the guy who first walked through these doors 24 months ago. It was two years filled with failures, triumphs, foolish decisions, meaningful friendships, and looking back, although most times I did not realize it, the overarching theme was/is God's faithfulness.
I have been asked several times what I would change if I could do it all over again. My answer quite simply is I wouldn't do it all over again, and I probably wouldn't change anything. These failures that some times I want to change is where I saw God work the most. Indeed the most growth I have seen take place in my life is through my failures, and perhaps I am beginning to realize more and more that my own inadequacy is the point, because God alone is adequate. And the beauty is that in steps God's faithfulness to see me through my inadequacy.
When my pride overcomes me, God is faithful. When I stumble yet again as I attempt to carry myself, God is faithful. When time after time I fail to learn my need for dependence, God is faithful.
So I can leave school here confident, not in my own ability or wisdom, but in God's faithfulness. That God will see me through this.
I have been asked several times what I would change if I could do it all over again. My answer quite simply is I wouldn't do it all over again, and I probably wouldn't change anything. These failures that some times I want to change is where I saw God work the most. Indeed the most growth I have seen take place in my life is through my failures, and perhaps I am beginning to realize more and more that my own inadequacy is the point, because God alone is adequate. And the beauty is that in steps God's faithfulness to see me through my inadequacy.
When my pride overcomes me, God is faithful. When I stumble yet again as I attempt to carry myself, God is faithful. When time after time I fail to learn my need for dependence, God is faithful.
So I can leave school here confident, not in my own ability or wisdom, but in God's faithfulness. That God will see me through this.
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