The Christian life is one of dependence. Dependence upon God for everything, for his life, his strength, for growth. I mean, the very illustration Christ uses for growth is the vine and the branches, where the branch (me) must be completely dependent upon the vine for life. Yet this concept of dependence is in so drastic opposition to my own thinking. In the moments where I seem so far away from God I realize I have been seeking independence, I have been fooled, attempting self sufficiency, almost unknowingly pushing God away. Indeed when my disconnectedness reveals itself, I see my pride right there along with it.
This concept of
dependence is so tightly woven together with humility, and yet it is quite ironic to find myself attempting humility apart from dependence, failing to humble myself before the Creator. As one of my teachers at school noted,
"There will never be a point in time in your walk that God will stop seeking to humble you."
Increasingly I see the destructiveness of my own pride. This Christian life is not about what I can do, instead it is about what God is doing in me, through me.
May God teach me to have a spirit of humility, of dependence.
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